[ Oh she knows how he must feel. She isn't ignorant, isn't stupid. She knows that the possibility, however unfruitful or unintentional, would still have been... Well. There was a reason she'd never said anything. No reason to get his hopes up. Especially if she'd chosen ... not to go through with it.
Gods help her. Her mother might have laughed at her now, for having been tangled up in something so domestic, so ... impossible. So unlike her or the Doctor that it almost made it completely unbelievable. ]
Yeah. I was.
[ It's said with no small amount of guilt, despite the surety of it. She really hadn't been planning on telling him. ]
We were stupid, we weren't even careful about it- This sort of thing is normal for a girl from my era. You fool around sometimes, get a scare here or there- and nothing comes of it.
[Her simple statement completely deflates his anger, replacing it with a numbing sort of despair. Oh, he knows full well what happens in her era. Including the "not going through with it" part. To think that if all had gone to plan for her, she may have ended it with him being none the wiser is a whole different level of pain. Not that he'd be the kind of man to force her one way or the other, but to never have known that it was even a possibility...
Of course, if all had gone to plan for her, this would all be moot, wouldn't it? There'd be no pain because he wouldn't have even known a decision had been made.
It doesn't really make him feel any better.]
Rose...
[The rest of his words catch in his throat and he clears it before trying again.]
[ And, miraculously, there's no bitterness in her tone. No jealousy or anger or even weary. Because even if he has feelings for her, however they large or small... They're infantile compared to how he feels about the other woman.
And maybe it's a little surprising, to just blurt it out like that. It's ... relieving, as sudden as it was. She hadn't been planning on saying that; hadn't had any sort of response, either. But it felt right, that answer. As if it was just something she'd needed to come to terms with, to realize on her own. ]
If somethin' had come of it, if I'd actually been knocked up, then I would've said something. But I'm not, an' you're not going to get mixed up with me while you've got something really amazing already.
.. I've got my own version of you. Two, actually. I don't need t'be more greedy than I've already been.
[ Funny, how the moods can slip by and provide clarity in just a matter of seconds. One single line, one thought, and it's as if the weight of the entire situation has lifted. As if she's finally started to realize, to figure things out. Of course she loved him, of course she did. But it was ... different. Perhaps it was the same with his Eleventh face. A love they shared, and yet different from being in love. ]
Yes, yes I am. I just hope she still loves me in return.
[It's stated simply and without hesitation. Because he is, absolutely and utterly in love with Charley. He loves her more than he has ever loved a woman before. It's terrifying at times.
Still, he hadn't lied to Rose. He had fallen in love with her almost from the beginning, even before Nine appeared. He'd kept his distance and was the gentleman, of course, and then her Doctor appeared and he'd pulled back even further. He supposes it was a matter of time before that dam holding back his feelings for her broke, as it had on that night. A night he refuses to regret, which was the one shining light in that entire dark time, but regrets the pain that the moment caused.]
I never considered it "mixed up", and I was never going to force myself into your life, even if you had been carrying my child. It's just that...even before that, I could have at least given some moral support, so you didn't have to wait for the results alone.
But I suppose it's a bit of a moot point now. Are you ever going to tell him?
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Gods help her. Her mother might have laughed at her now, for having been tangled up in something so domestic, so ... impossible. So unlike her or the Doctor that it almost made it completely unbelievable. ]
Yeah. I was.
[ It's said with no small amount of guilt, despite the surety of it. She really hadn't been planning on telling him. ]
We were stupid, we weren't even careful about it- This sort of thing is normal for a girl from my era. You fool around sometimes, get a scare here or there- and nothing comes of it.
no subject
Of course, if all had gone to plan for her, this would all be moot, wouldn't it? There'd be no pain because he wouldn't have even known a decision had been made.
It doesn't really make him feel any better.]
Rose...
[The rest of his words catch in his throat and he clears it before trying again.]
Rose, what sort of a man do you think I am?
no subject
[ And, miraculously, there's no bitterness in her tone. No jealousy or anger or even weary. Because even if he has feelings for her, however they large or small... They're infantile compared to how he feels about the other woman.
And maybe it's a little surprising, to just blurt it out like that. It's ... relieving, as sudden as it was. She hadn't been planning on saying that; hadn't had any sort of response, either. But it felt right, that answer. As if it was just something she'd needed to come to terms with, to realize on her own. ]
If somethin' had come of it, if I'd actually been knocked up, then I would've said something. But I'm not, an' you're not going to get mixed up with me while you've got something really amazing already.
.. I've got my own version of you. Two, actually. I don't need t'be more greedy than I've already been.
[ Funny, how the moods can slip by and provide clarity in just a matter of seconds. One single line, one thought, and it's as if the weight of the entire situation has lifted. As if she's finally started to realize, to figure things out. Of course she loved him, of course she did. But it was ... different. Perhaps it was the same with his Eleventh face. A love they shared, and yet different from being in love. ]
no subject
[It's stated simply and without hesitation. Because he is, absolutely and utterly in love with Charley. He loves her more than he has ever loved a woman before. It's terrifying at times.
Still, he hadn't lied to Rose. He had fallen in love with her almost from the beginning, even before Nine appeared. He'd kept his distance and was the gentleman, of course, and then her Doctor appeared and he'd pulled back even further. He supposes it was a matter of time before that dam holding back his feelings for her broke, as it had on that night. A night he refuses to regret, which was the one shining light in that entire dark time, but regrets the pain that the moment caused.]
I never considered it "mixed up", and I was never going to force myself into your life, even if you had been carrying my child. It's just that...even before that, I could have at least given some moral support, so you didn't have to wait for the results alone.
But I suppose it's a bit of a moot point now. Are you ever going to tell him?